almost new!

I feel like I was in the mood on writing before I turn on my notebook. Do you know why? This was because I’ve been totally inspired by a couple of movie that I’ve watched several hours ago. It’s Indonesian best movie EVER for sure; titled “Tiga Hari untuk Selamanya” and “Claudia/Jasmine”. But actually, my good mood was wrecked by one stupid thing I’ve done to my stupid notebook, you know, while i was choose my own top 40 songs on the play list, with only just one click, my magical hand was amazingly losing all of the music on the play list. Damn! I’ve reached number 38, it’s actually only there’s two left. Oh come on! But then, to avoid the more resentment of myself, I had decided not to use the winamp agent anymore while I write this story.

First of all, I would like to say that I ain’t a good writer for sure and I don’t care about how much people in quality or even quantity following around my blog for all time, one thing for sure, this time my story would be different with my previous post that was already left behind. Well, for the reason of the coffee effect and two of the movies I’ve watched tonight, many-many-many things suddenly come up across my mind. Its some kind of.. mmp, what would be the best word.. I think it would be: judgments of myself. Sort of things..

Wait!
It feels a little bit quiet down here,
I guess I will turn on my music player by now.
This girl has just breaking her own pledge.

***

02:22

Judgment number one: me as reclusion people.

Much people around me were doing their own judgments about me. And that’s okay, I’m cool with it. The thing is, I’ve found the fact that the more they were made an opinion about me, the more I convinced myself that they’re all REALLY do not knowing me at all. Is it good or bad? I’m not going to talk about that. I am private, I have to admit it. I have my own thought, and by reading my blog that doesn’t mean you guys could signify where my mind or even my heart will going to take me. Well it’s true that this is my voice. That’s why it was perfectly called: Sound of the Heart. I am no other people, and people no other like me. Fair enough.

I have many friends and also enjoy being in such crowd. I only have one face to show to you people, so please stop saying that I was having a different kind of visage that was significantly disturbing you. I am now using no mask. This is me without a lie within my words. For several reason I’ve chosen to be a girl like this. Like you guys never ever imagine before. I’m sorry for being such a recluse for you. All I’m asking you now is not about your attendance every time I break away or whenever I wanted to cry a river, NO. I just want you to accept me the way I am. Take me as where I used to be. Changes are totally needed but let me face it through my own step. I love my friend. And thank for those who had felt the same way as I did.

Actually, I have a several question for you who has consider me as your friend; do you really think that you know me this much? Do you ever realize that you have such a weird friend ever in your life that many times makes you sick enough to breathe? I love you always, my sweet angels. You are such a flower in my days, a story in a book and also sweet sugar on my bitter coffee. You know I can’t thank you enough.

***

03:40

Judgment number two: I’m over generally person.

I love politics. I love photography. I love singing. I love books. I love writing and I also in love to a guy out there. *the last ‘love’ would be just an addition for extra emotion on this long-long posting :D. To be honest, those certain things were only resisted out of the front door. My biggest problem is I don’t know where I put the keys on. I was stuck in the line of word ‘love’ without knowing or even wanting to getting closer with those objects that I’ve already mentioned I really love to. Poor thing, isn’t it? Too much to say about this, but the thing is, I have to change into somebody who has a bigger passion about anything.

For the reason of love and for all of the knowledge about love itself, I should have known what to do and what to make.

When I said I love being on the major of international relations, I should stop killing my time just for 75% playing around. That was just too MUCH. I have goals in my mind in a way within interests include some instruments to achieve my goals, therefore, there will be an implementation for all things I’ve done. *haha! I’ve read too much theoretical thinking of those political scientists that has been perfectly influence my own thought about life.

And when I said I love photography, I should stop being an actor. I should find my own lane and interest and stop being steered by someone else, EVEN they were greater than me. I know I can do anything, but anything is not always good for me to take with and for that reason, I have to pick up the best and deepening greater concentrations on my own choice. And don’t forget to keep my best technique in capturing things; use your heart every time you capture things. Because it will always makes a best shot ever.

Lastly but least, when I said I love someone, I should stop being a introverted and not again to tell a lie about my feeling. I am now happy and about to love someone but unfortunately, he has already had a girlfriend. *nyahahahahhahha! No regret, just take it as your another broken path. You can fix it on the other day. :D *as what Jason mraz have told you.

When someone ask you to be with them, if you want them too, just say ‘yes’
and you don’t have to fear about anything.

***

Well, it’s been two hours I was writing my own judgments and finally this post has ended as my best resolution for the next year. If I have a chance, I promise myself to change into a better person for myself and other people for sure. I love myself today with good or bad things inside of me. I love 2008 with a thousand stories within. And I just can’t wait for another thousands story that I’ll face with a better step in each way. Wish me luck, wish you luck.

End of story.
This post would be my last one until a new year come. YIPPY! I love a new thing that will full with a new adventure with new friend (boyfriend). :D

Cheers for 2008 and for a better us,

Dhea Aditya.

P.S: Thanks for those who stand still reading this post. Happy New Year 2009!