out of my own lexicon!!

Maybe, it’s true that sorry seems to be the hardest word. I almost come to an end, when all the doubts inside of me were screwed up everything. I’ve been on questions, answers, tears and even laugh. But that was just not fit in. I’ve been on friendship, family, love and any kind of relations in the world, but still that was just not fit in. Not fit on me. I know why and I know exactly how.

Maybe, this ‘why’ and ‘how’ question couldn’t answer any further than I thought I could ever be, but, I thank god, for snapping me through my pray that makes me realize, there’s sort of word I almost forget to say whenever I’m lost and hate. It is the word ‘sorry’. I’m too arrogant, I admit it for sure. I always forget this word ever subsist in my lexicon.

I’m sorry to god, that I’m about to forget how ungrateful my life would be without Your kindness. I’m sorry for abandoning my mum’s advice to rule my life as wise as I could. I’m sorry for keeping a lot of secrets to my friends. I’m sorry for ignoring the love that my dearest ever gave to me. I’m sorry.

With all my heart, I do apologize to all of you.

Seems like, tomorrow will colored as grey or even black for me. But I insist you guys, to forgive me. *insist? I was putting another sin in times. Well, I can’t promise you a big change in me, but at least, I’ll be back on the line. I’m not an alien again (or am I an alien that was transformed into human body, still I’m not sure about it)

Tonight is the night where I’ve been on such a long journey. I wish I could have another word beside ‘sorry’ in my dictionary to express my double-time regret.

Thank God for the love. Thank God for the spirit.

Cheers,

Dhea.

PS: inconsistency world lies within my mind. ups! This post is written in ENGLISH.